Of course Bond's heating had to malfunction again today. It was almost as if some capricious higher power had it in for him.

Nevertheless, the door was open and he was in for any parents who wished to speak with him. Even if he was slightly less clothed than the previous two days.

Bond was once again behind his desk this morning, wearing one of his better suits and secure in the knowledge that he didn't seem to have any unexpected guests of his own to deal with.

The door was open for any visitors who wished to come in.

The first thing Bond had done when he'd arrived at his office was to do a thorough search with gloves and a softball bat, before breaking into the emergency vodka to brace himself in case any parents wanted to talk with him.

The door was open for any visitors. Though it would be unwise to bring up last Monday's class with him.

Bond was typing up the last of his notes for this afternoon's class, when he heard a clinking noise coming from one of his drawers. The one where he kept the emergency Scotch. As opposed to the regular Scotch or the emergency vodka.

Warily picking up a letter opener, Bond used a ruler to lever open the drawer. Unfortunately, he wasn't as quite prepared as he thought for the spring-loaded gremlin launching himself at his face, and as he threw up a hand to protect his face, he felt teeth latching into his arm.

[Establishy.]

"Good afternoon," Bond addressed his assembled class. "This class is Practical Weaponry, and it's more or less exactly that. Each week I will be presenting a scenario here in the Danger Shop, and your job will be to find a way to survive it using either methods that I will have discussed with you beforehand, or by improvising something on your own. I will be demonstrating the use of ranged, and unranged conventional weapons, as well as showing you ways to improvise weaponry from seemingly innocuous everyday items. If anyone has a problem with this, the door is over there."

He paused before continuing. "Unlike certain of your other teacher, I won't be making you wear uniforms, but I would advise you to wear comfortable clothing that allows you freedom of movement."

"Now, onto the matter of teaching assistants." One day Bond would ask for volunteers, or even interest in being his TA. This was not that day. "Reese, Hathaway, congratulations."

"Since it's our first week, we'll just stick to introductions. I want your names, class, what weapons experience you have, and how you personally would handle the zombie apocalyspe," Bond said. He pointed at a random student. "You first."

[ooc: wait for ocd up.]

[Class Roster]

Bond has a TA-slot going, so if anyone's interested, drop a (screened) comment, and let the RNG gods do their work.